Another year has gone by. Have I done everything I said I would do? Did I grow as a person, did I take care of myself properly? Did I learn from my mistakes? Did I enjoy every happy moment to the fullest? Did I say “I love you” enough?
When I became a mom, everything changed. My world was now them. And I learned what real unconditional love was. Everything I ever did was for them. I was invested in them $110%… Even when they were sleeping I was still thinking of them. With all the love, care and attention I gave them I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was. I was Jessica the wife, Jessica the mom, Jessica the sister, Jessica the daughter… But never just.. Jessica. My main goal for 2014 was to find a balance. To find myself again and to take time to be alone once in a while. To meditate, to love myself.. But at the same time, to still be the best mom I could be for my two babies. What a challenge it was to find that perfect balance. Even when I took time for myself I couldn’t help but feel guilty. So I would plan alone time or away from home time when the kids were already in bed. Little by little the guilt was less (although it is always there). My husband helped me a lot by reassuring me that it was ok and that he would take good care of them (of course he would because he is such a great daddy!). The truth is, I don’t think I’ll ever find the perfect balance. When I dive into work a little more it means I am sacrificing some time with my kids. When I spend more time with my kids I pay less attention to my job or this career I am trying to build with my sister Karen. But I’ll never stop trying. And that’s the key to a successful life isn’t? To never give up. That, and lots of prayers too.
I would like to share some of my personal goals with you for this new year. They say it’s important to write down your goals because it will motivate you to take action, it will help you overcome resistance, and because it will enable you to see (and celebrate) your progress.
Family photos- I want to take more pictures of my family. Whenever I look at the recent photos I think of how perfect the moment was captured. Their big smiles. Their love for each other. It reminds me of what is most important in life.
Live in the moment- When something positive happens I want to enjoy it fully and not think about tomorrow. Just enjoy that moment and be happy.
Quality time- My oldest is in first grade and I spend lots of time with him doing homework and reading lots of books. Although that is consider “quality time” I miss being able to just play with him. Life is so hectic that I don’t get to do that very often. I want to set time aside to spend time with just him.
Affectionate- Believe it or not, this is a tough one. My sisters, my parents and my husband would like me to be more affectionate, more hugs, kisses, etc. I guess I don’t do that stuff enough. I feel like I try my best to help them the best I can when they need me. But they need some extra love as well. I am just more comfortable giving my children hugs, kisses, and cuddles!
Health- This was part of my goals for last year too but I would like to take care of my body a little better this year. Mainly, by going to bed early (not midnight or 1 am!)
Thank you for reading.
Sweater and beanies from GAP